No Data Available
by Broseidon
Summary: Shepard and Legion have a discussion as to the origins of Legion's armour. Explicit Content. No, seriously. MA rating.


"Why did you use my armor?"

"...bzzt... *clik*..there was a hole..."

"Yeah, I know. But why MINE? Hmm?"

"..................................................no data available."

Legion's glowing visage turned a light shade of pink as it, almost anxiously, examined the AI core room - looking at anything but Shepard.

"*kl-klik* ...Sh..zzzz..Shepard.. what is 'love'?"

"You know.. I could teach you, Legion. I could show you firsthand."

"...you would do thbzzzzzzzzzzzzthis for us?"

"Of course. We're friends, right? Maybe even... more than friends."

Shepard stepped closer to the bot, running his calloused hands over Legion's gleaming plating. The texture was still smooth and glossy, despite years of battle damage. Servos whirred frantically inside its torso, as it struggled to understand what was happening.

"What's this?" asked Shepard, flipping a switch under Legion's plating and causing a rod to extend from the bot's lower torso.

"*whirrrr*...zzt..it is a lubrication applicator, Shepard Commander."

"Ooh.. well, that might come in handy. Oh, and Legion?"

Legion clicked his headplates.

"Call me John." Shepard firmly gripped the lubrication rod and began milking it for all it was worth. A sweet-smelling oil began gushing out almost instantly.

"So, tell me.. why is a tool like this in a place like that? Seems terribly.. inefficient."

Legion felt itself beginning to lose control of its motor systems, as its long-dormant programming started to kick in at the commander's touch.

"It is...we were.... are... intended for the creators. To serve them in..bzzzzzzZZZZZtmany ways."

"Did I touch a nerve?" asked Shepard coyly. His hand now covered in lubricant, he slowly dropped his pants, revealing his huge Cerberus-enhanced cyborg dick.

"Now listen, Legion," he said as he lathered his robomember with lubricant, "Can you feel pain?"

"Negative."

"That'll make this easier."

Shepard swiftly grabbed Legion's head and thrusted it down over his cock, bursting the bot's ocular sensors in one swift blow. He mercilessly began pounding away at his synthetic victim.

"bZZtshPZZRD commander, whzzzzzt is happngn *klk*" stuttered Legion, suddenly blind. But it needn't have asked. Its servitude program now in full swing, it kneeled before Shepard and reached out, gently massaging his sixteen transplanted Krogan testicles. Shepard moaned in delight, increasing his rhythm.

"Ah... that's it, Legion. That's the way. You're doing great... " The bot made no more noise. He could feel its steel fingers working their way inside his asshole. He clenched his anus, the pleasure almost too much to handle.

An inch-wide tube extended from Legion's head, approaching Shepard's mouth. He wasn't entirely sure what it wanted, but was too busy ramming his metallic victim to care. It burrowed its way into his mouth, forming a vacuum on his tongue and sucking hard.

Suddenly, Legion stopped his fingering and spoke, clenching Shepard's technodrill in a bone-crushing grasp.

"And now, Shepard Commander, it is time for me to execute my primary function."

Shepard's eyes bugged out in surprise as the bot flipped him over and trapped his arms behind his back. Legion's lubrication rod extended and widened, pulsing with a blue glow. It quickly thrust it deep inside Shepard's loosened rectum, the various plates and cords it was composed of periodically pulsing and shifting, sending waves of pleasure and pain coursing throughout the ex-spectre.

"Am I performing this to your exzzzzzzzzzzzbzpectations, Shepard Commander?" inquired the bot. Shepard, bent over on his knees and receiving the most violent fucking of his life, could barely squeak out a tearful 'yes'.

"Then I must *klkliiiik-whirrrrrrr* proceed further."

Another tube extended from below Legion's lubrication rod and travelled out to meet the tip of Shepard's raging electroboner. Seeking out the tip of his nanourethra, it joined with his own systems and began delivering electric shocks to his genitals.

"Ah! Oh! Ooh, fuck yes! Legion! This is how you love, Legion! This is.. wait... I- wha-" Shepard tensed in mild surprise, before his enormous nutsack FUCKING EXPLODED and set dozens of dead Krogan babies everywhere, along with most of his blood.

"Shepard Commander..we......I...." Legion's program shut down immediately. He became aware of the lifeless lump of flesh and its now static mechacock hanging off of his extremity.

The door to the AI core opened... and in walked the Illusive Man.

"Legion, I'm disappointed."

He carefully avoided the piles of gore and babies, taking a drag of his expensive cigarette. He crossed his arms and glared at the bot sternly.

"You've cost me a lot of money."

Legion stared at him reproachfully.

"We did not want to hurt him... we lost control. Programming."

"Yes. I was afraid of that."

The Illusive Man picked up Shepard's nanojohnson and eyed it thoughtfully, licking some of the lubrication off.

"Never mind. We have his body. We can rebuild him. We have the technology. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster... and with a bigger penis."

He turned for the door.

"Come, Legion. It's nearly time for my daily fisting."


End file.
